Thursday, May 7, 2009

Madelyn's 1st Surgery 11.15.06

I have been preparing myself for this day for the last 4 months. Ever since we found out about Madelyn's Omphalocele, I knew I would have to face this day. Madelyn is going to have surgery today, to try and put her bowel and part of her liver back inside her tummy. We have every faith & confidence in Dr. Bloss and his abilities. He is such a wonderful person, & I can't imagine anyone else operating on my baby girl.

I spent the better part of the morning with Madelyn in the Level I NICU. I don't know what to think at this point. My hopes are high & my heart is heavy. I don't have much of an apetite and feel numb inside.

Dr. Bloss spoke with Craig & I both in the NICU before her surgery. We were asked to leave her at some point so that they could prep her. I don't remember leaving the NICU. I do however remember returning to my room where Mom, Dad, Delvin & Delores, Gran & Grumps were waiting. I don't know what to expect.

Dr. Bloss explained to us that the surgery could take around 2 hours. As soon as it was over he would give us a call. He also prepped us on what to expect when we saw her again, as she would be intubated & on a morphine drip. He also told us that babies are a lot more tuff than people give them credit for. Surgeries like this are much worse on the parents than the babies. I can totally atest to that!

After about 45 minutes of waiting, the phone in my room rang. Dr. Bloss said the surgery was over, it went beautifully and Madelyn was heading back to the NICU to recover. He said to give them an hour to get her situated and then we could go back down and see her. That was the first time I cried & I really need it!

Craig & I ordered food and ate for the first time that day. I was still very apprehensive about seeing Madelyn, so it was hard to eat. My meds were starting to wear off and for the first time, I began to feel the pain of my own surgery. Before I knew it, Craig & I, plus the entire family were heading back down to the NICU to see our girl.

When we got to the NICU, I made Craig stop for a minute before we rounded the corner to the stretch of beds that Madelyn was laid upon. I needed a minute to gather myself so that I wouldn't break down. I didn't know what to think, or what to feel, I was just numb.
We spent hours in the NICU that evening. Everyone got a turn to go in and see Madelyn, but I would not leave her side. She was so still & quiet, just sleeping away. I couldn't wait to see her cry or wiggle, show any sign of movement. That was definitely the hardest experience of my life.

I knew after that, the strength that God had given not only her, but our entire family. I also knew that our Grandparents & my Gammie that had already passed on, were watching over and taking care of our girl. Everything is going to be alright.


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